It is a game changer!
Persistence & Resilience
So, I am massively into persistence! It is a game changer. Persistence increases your probability of getting a dance and making that $$$$ It is mathematics! When paired with resilience, it is a match made in heaven.
Because, it is all about BALANCE. Persistence and resilience perfectly complement each other! Yin and yang ❤️ Persistence is yang, the outer action, the doing, the movement, the dominant and masculine energy. Resilience is yin, your internal environment, stillness, the feminine and inner strength. It is one thing to PERSIST all night until the lights come on, that alone increases the potential to make bank! BUT resilience is the equal opposite, the complementary force that allows this to happen effortlessly and drives you to success.
Towards the end of the night our patience might get tested- like seriously tested! That is when it is important to draw on our internal stillness and be resilient to external pressures and situations. That internal stillness can keep your vibe high and when you do find that “perfect” customer and put your best foot forward and be an absolute pleasure to be around!
And that ladies and gentlemen, is what it’s all about!
To work or not to work?! I know my friends and I drive anyone near us crazy, some nights, asking “Should I work?” I usually pick - work! Usually for fear of missing out (FOMO) or fear of scarcity????- crazy! Now, lately I have been exploring the absolute importance of BALANCE! In order to achieve balance properly, first of all, you need to listen to what you truly want and honour that. Make a clear decision and stick with it, otherwise you won’t get the benefit! If you work (and wish you were at home) you may not give your 100% - who wants an entertainer who doesn’t want to be there? If you stay home but wish you worked and the whole time wonder how much $$ you are missing out on - you ain’t relaxing and you may as well have worked. Instead of pissing everyone off saying, “aww I should have worked!” Pick one option and whole heartedly stick to it and remind yourself why you chose that!! No regrets! Each option is just as important as the other. ITS BALANCE! Trust yourself and either way, you will be ok ❤️
Take the time to replenish!
Our work can be taxing on our physical, energetical and emotional bodies. As entertainers, when we are doing our job really well, we are giving so much of ourselves. Even though we are taking payment, our industry is about giving, not receiving. Giving a fantasy, an experience, a show or even just giving an ear or a shoulder. We really need to take the time to replenish our mind, body and soul, so we can keep that dancer burnout at bay! Connecting with nature is a great way to replenish your Self. By absorbing the life force energy from the sun, earth and fresh air. Stillness and meditation are so powerful, to help regain mental strength and clarity as you reconnect with Self and universality. Of course fitness and healthy food, help to keep you not only looking great but also help to nourish your mind, body and soul. Everything is interconnected. How do you like to replenish?
You become what you think!
I remember as a baby stripper, being so impressed by this amazing, successful seasoned stripper. I just had to ask her how she did it? (I was in awe, and I couldn’t believe how much money could be made in one night.) I asked her; “How do you make so much $$?” She replied with one short sentence; “You have to believe you are worth it!” This changed everything for me! For some this is easier said than done!
This is an extremely complex topic. For me, it was a long road to unlock this belief of myself. It was full of ups and downs, self-enquiry, faking it till I made it and lots and lots of hard work! It certainly didn’t come naturally. One of the simplest and most powerful tools to help strengthen your self-belief/ self-worth, is autosuggestion and how you talk to yourself in general! Your unconscious mind is completely open to suggestion. If you are talking to yourself in a negative way, you will create a negative mindset and attract negative outcomes. Alternatively, if you talk to yourself positively, you will create a positive mind set and attract more positive outcomes. So be kind to yourself! Remember, you are worth it! ❤️
If you choose to feed your confidence, you will starve your fear!
CONFIDENCE is such a familiar topic which can come up in everyone’s lives. I have personally struggled with self-confidence issues for a good part of my life and in the process I have learnt a lot about how it works and affects us. I have written a lot on this topic and so I will just write a snippet here and continue another time on separate posts. I do love this topic as when we make changes and improve our self-confidence, our whole lives change and of course our incomes sky rocket! As confidence is sexy as hell! Confidence is in all of us. We all have it, even though we may think we don’t. We may think “I’m not a confident person, and that person is, etc.” We all have times we feel confident, there may be a certain activity which makes us feel confident and other activities that don’t and we may instead find that we feel nervous or scared or any other emotion based in fear. Confidence and fear are like yin and yang. Where one lives, we do not find the other. They are perfect opposites. They are linked and they have a dance. You may find that by practice, you can reduce fear and increase confidence. It is like training a muscle at the gym. When trying new things including, new approaches or new hustle techniques for example, confidence is always followed by fear and fear is always followed by confidence, especially when we push ourselves outside of our comfort zone. It is a natural progression. There is a tiny snippet lol, I find this applies so much to work, as I will elaborate in later posts, however, where do you find your comfort zone starts and ends? Do you have a certain demographic you like to approach when hustling? Do you ask absolutely everyone in the room, or do you skip certain people for example, or couples and big groups etc? Is that selectively based in feelings of confidence and fear?
Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom; mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power! -TAO TE CHING.
This quote is so powerful! It is from ancient Chinese wisdoms and I absolutely love it! It goes a lot deeper than I was anticipating to write about. I want to focus on the fact that we are our own products. As we are essentially selling our time, company, energy and vibe as our personal service. We, as entertainers, are our own product. In order to sell a product well, we must know the ins and outs of said product. We must know our strengths and weaknesses, then we can work towards minimising our weaknesses and call attention to our strengths, consciously, whilst making a sale/ hustling. This wisdom can guard against frustrations along the night where you might allow others to trigger you or have you feel not good enough etc when that simply is not true. When you truly connect with yourself and know yourself, other people’s opinions will remain meaningless and you will be able to stay in your flow and stay positive. Knowing yourself and deeply connecting with yourself is a key ingredient in true confidence, happiness and great hustling. People will test you from time to time (or a lot haha) and when you can confidently and happily rise above these situations, it will a) teach them to stop testing you (as they will not get the desired effect) and b) demonstrate that you are only interested in maintaining your positive energy, and as a result you will attract others with a great energy and c) focus on being an entertainer rather than getting triggered and brought down by other people’s behaviour. So connect with yourself, know yourself and find your power.
What can you give, rather than what can you get?
With the mentality of giving rather than getting, your cup must be so full that you can continue to give without it leaving you feeling depleted. I wholeheartedly believe this is the golden ticket to attracting and receiving abundance. We must give to ourselves and others whilst setting intentions to the universe and being in alignment to what those intentions are but it’s not all about what can you get? Giving to yourself may include cutting out toxic people, being kind to yourself, allowing what is, gratitude, healthy food, frequent exercise , following your joy, that way you are being replenished and when you set intentions it is already from a place of abundance and not lack. There is a flow and that involves giving and receiving, and you must give in order to receive. Giving to yourself allows you to give more to others and that creates flow!
Desire is the driving force behind persistence.
If you ask me, my favourite topic to do with hustling? It is persistence and everything related. Money is made in all of the moments you chose to persist! Yes, we get knocked back a lot every night, but choosing to persist is where you find your success. Small defeats are not failure, only when you accept those small defeats, and call it a night, do you stop stacking figures! All knock backs have a small lesson, or are simply one step closer to your next (hopefully amazing) customer & if you give up before your goal is reached (goals are a more tangible and measurable form of desire) well then you gave up, and accepted defeat. Harsh but true!
Your true power is generated from internal validation, rather than the fleeting fix of external validation.
Find your strength within and rest in knowing that you are enough! This energy can radiate outwards and guard against people trying to bring you down. Rather your energy will attract those who feel the same way and treat you accordingly. Power to all my beautiful sisters out there on the floor who know themselves and the good that they bring others ❤️
Self-confidence and self-doubt are in a dance like yin and yang.
They both exist in all of us and they flow and oscillate. Lately I have become more aware of different forms they are delivered in and exist in. (I have written about this before but I am experiencing new layers) Being hard on yourself, holding huge expectations and standards, not giving yourself a break, forcing yourself to do things and not rest are all deep-down forms of acting out of fear. Therefore, choosing to live in a way that is (probably unconsciously) moving away from fear and not actually towards love! (Self-love or in other words confidence or a positive self-esteem) I suffer from this and always pose huge deadlines, goals and standards upon myself resulting in, yes achieving results but also being left feeling like, wow! Was that really worth it? And not feeling proud or accomplished as I would have hoped for. That is because the real, deep down motivation wasn’t based in love it was based in fear. The opposite side of the spectrum, is being kind to yourself, allowing, resting in knowing that everything is OK! Self-love and appreciation and above all softening your inner critic! This way of being all leads towards strengthening confidence and a healthy self-esteem! Something for me personally, that has been and still is a long road. However, the more I chip away at understanding what it takes to feel confident, the more life and my internal environment unfold and expand in amazing and positive ways ❤️
A few words for those who may suffer with anxiety.
We always tend to run from emotions, quite unaware. Always do, do, do, we may get a sense of urgency, to phone someone, clean, do a task, something that brings a feeling of accomplishment. Until the next thing instantly pops up and you stay busy. To sit with emotions is painful e.g. anxiety, anger, sadness. To really sit with it, feel it, face it, and let it wash through you. When an emotion like anxiety comes over you, lean into it, enquire, where is this coming from? Be still, your mind knows it has all of the answers, listen. When you do allow yourself to feel the emotions truly to your core, you are able to diffuse them, uncomfortable- yes! But they will pop. Like getting a massage on a tight muscle, it hurts more intensively, but only for a short period, then, the pain diffuses. If you were to ignore the tight muscle, you would learn to live with it, say things like “oh I can’t lift that, I have a sore shoulder” same with emotional pain, you may say things like “I can’t sleep well, my mind is too busy” or “I don’t know how to wind down and relax, I’m just a busy person” Or “I just don’t like being around people” etc. It is possible to change these beliefs, attitudes, personalities (depending how deep they go) it just takes the discomfort to find the comfort and face the fear to feel the love.
The 80/20 rule,
Developed by an Italian, Pareto, in the 1800s states 80% of effects come from 20% of causes. This rule can be applied in so many ways with our line of work. Yes, the obvious, overall 80% of the money we make can come from 20% of our customers. Not when looking at individual nights, but more as a big picture. Yes, we get lots of little dances, but it’s those big juicy long booking that really stack the cash! A less obvious application of this rule, applies to when we find ourselves in a slump. Confidence has slipped, we start to doubt ourselves and our abilities. This is where we can apply the 80/20 rule to our mind sets. 80% celebrating ourselves, our efforts and focusing on gratitude! For example, with the way you did your make up, or appreciate yourself for going to the gym or eating the healthy option. Celebrating yourself for going into work even when you felt overwhelmed and trying the best you had to offer and approaching people even when you felt intimidated. These are all wonderful efforts to celebrate. Then allowing 20% of your thoughts to be based around things you can improve, so you do improve. Maybe better self-care or realising you haven’t been putting in effort or allowing yourself to get frustrated, etc. being aware of this allows self-awareness, which allows for change, in a constructive way. . This is a healthy balance as your mindset will shift towards confidence via gratitude and self-celebration. By focusing on all of your little wins 🎉🎉 What can you celebrate today?
Power of suggestion
The Power of Suggestion is super strong. There are whole studies about this topic which I love to get into. From the art of public speaking, and persuasive language. History tells, wars have been waged via propaganda, major social movements have taken place, elections have been won, all due to language selection and the power of suggestion. To the art of burlesque where suggested nudity takes place, however doesn’t actually happen, however the naughtiness has still been lapped up by the audience and enjoyed. This is all suggestion in movement. To the art of manifestation, self-development by order of self-suggestion. Whole industries are based on the power of suggestion, advertising, marketing, fashion. The list goes on. Our minds are so impressionable, and one thing I am wanting to suggest, do not forget the art and the POWER OF SUGGESTION. This is one topic I love and explore and I have a lot more to say on how it works, how to utilise it and ultimately how it can be of use, ONLY IN A POSITIVE WAY!
Compassion is a powerful emotion we can utilise within the strip club to help us to maintain positivity and a stable state of mind. In order to put our best foot forward with each customer we approach, we need to remain non-reactive and remain positive. There are many reasons why customers may not want a dance, that is their right and that is ok. What we focus on and what we ARE in control of is how we handle a NO if they choose to decline having a dance. We do not know what customers are going through. They might come across as creepy and weird when they are really shy and overwhelmed. They might come across rude and insulting, when they are really insecure and hurting. They might come across difficult and time wasting when they are really broke and struggling with life. We have a CHOICE as to how we let others “make” us feel. We can literally choose whether we react or remain focused and motivated. We can choose what to focus on and what we can tell ourselves and so we have a choice to feel compassion for people and therefore giving ourselves the gift of a calm and positive mind. This is the very foundation of a strong hustle for the whole night.